Ok, New Year, New Resolutions (or actually, most of them are pretty much the same! Every bloody year!) Back in London and have been busy (celebrating, catching up with friends…) so haven’t had time to blog much. (Or, what exactly do I mean by “much”?? Not a word, more like it!)



Anyway, it’s time for everyone to be on your guards now! Pay attention. I know you probably haven’t been expecting it, but it’s January again. It happens once a year, still it hits us like a train each time. You start feeling suspicious by the 3rd or so, when everything, and I mean everything, suddenly is just that little bit more grey than it used to be. December was full of sparkling lights, candles and firework and then totally unexpectedly everything is just…gone!

There’s no time of the year that’s even close in comparison. If you’re a fairly optimistic person you’d agree to that summer sort of starts in April and goes on until late September.
Ok, and then obviously we’ve got Christmas starting in October (see earlier posts!). And even if you belong to the minority that isn’t celebrating Christmas until December, autumn is still pretty short and most of it consist of the festive season.
But then January until April, with the brief exception of Easter (and of course my birthday!), is just one long march in a gigantic mud like pond of chewing gum. It sucks!

It’s grey beyond belief! And it’s cold! Not cold in a cosy, snowy winter kind of way, but in a simply freezing your ass off the second you wake up sort of way!

And however much you’re agreeing with me and nodding to yourself now saying, “yes it’s chilly”, trust me when I say my ass has been suffering more than yours today!

I woke up at 6am shivering like a plucked duck. Obviously I had been sleeping with the window open, and for reasons unknown the heating had gone during the night. In fact, if I make an effort I’m sure I’d find myself to still be shaking (it’s just that I’ve stopped noticing.) That’s not all. I tried to solve the problem by having a hot shower…only to find that the hot water had gone! While being in it! It was arctic! I was genuinely beginning to wonder if the X-files had been involved. Had I been transferred north while asleep? Mulder? What the hell was going on?

I feel like I’m having a temperature, but apparently not. I’ve checked. Five times.

But anyway, I’m sidetracking. Famous and serious researchers from universities and institutes all over the world have come to the conclusion that January is the most depressing month of the year. (I would really like to know how much that has cost the taxpayers, cos honestly, I could have come up with that in less than it takes me to finish breakfast. No charge.)

And by using high tech scientific methods, they have presented us with results that prove the third Monday of January to be the most depressing DAY! Not just the most depressing day of January, but of the whole year! Thank you. That’s a piece of information I think we all felt we needed.

So, after a bit of contemplation, I came to the conclusion that the most efficient way to beat potential depression must be to beat the scientists! If we can only beat them, and by that prove them wrong, well, then we’ve beaten the whole foundation that their data of depression is built on – and thereby depression in itself!

Come on, it makes sense! It’s the definition of sense making!

I thought I might organise a night out on that specific Monday, just to screw the statistics up a bit. Not a wild party or anything, it’s a Monday after all, but maybe make some people get together to have a drink to celebrate our newfound power. Maybe meet in the most depressing pub in London. Maybe make everyone wear grey? It could work. It’d be hilarious! We could start “National Depression Day”! It might catch on.