It's Esthers birthday tomorrow and even though she's officially celebrating it on saturday she still (quite obviously) wants to do something tomorrow as well. Like go for a drink and a chat.
Say no more!

I happily took it upon me to find something interesting. Preferably a new place that neither of us have ever heard of, but which is still fantastic enough to be known among the reviews.

I did a good job. I found a place with a dead poet, one which had exceptionally nice plants and one that "you would love so much you'd want to go to sleep".

But after a while i got bored and started experimenting with the searches.. Instead of looking for the "cosiest/best/nicest pubs in London" I began to type in alternatives as "worst/most annoying/dirtiest hellhole...etc".

And I found some hilarious stuff!! One place sounded so horrible I actually wanted to go and have a look! Not go there to actually sit down and be a customer, but to just have a look, like when you go to the museum. To see if it's actually for real!

Seems like there are others with similar goals! Found this advert while looking:

Worst Pub in London?

I need an awful pub, with drunk pensioners wetting themselves, football goons assaulting bar staff, used syringes on the floor in the gents, and poorly cellared (though fairly priced) beer. Something like the Red Lion and Pineapple in Acton but with a greater threat of violence. Acton/Ealing/Chiswick, Bethnal Green, Dagenham or Deptford areas preferred (that makes it easy, no?).

I am meeting an old girlfriend against my will on my next trip. I want a venue so uncomfortable that she will cut the session short, and I don't want to overpay for the (mis)pleasure.


And the replies were equally useful...


What you want is the archetypal pub. Populated by two people, sitting silently at opposite ends of the pub. Bored bar-person, who eventually deigns to serve you, accompanied by deep sighs and scowls. Foul, flat, stale beer served in a filthy glass. Last, but not least the chow-angle, "No food after one thirty!" barked in your face for having the temerity to want to eat a little later.Mind you, with the quality of food on offer in the average English pub, you may want to arrive at twelve thirty to order some 'food'. Get your ex to sample something dragged from the freezer and plunged into hot, rancid oil, served with a limp lettuce leaf, half a tasteless tomato and a scattering of cress.
You'll never see her again.

I emailed Esther immediately to let her know I was on to a winner and that the search was clearly over!

I think she is very close to changing her mind about celebrating her birthday with me... :DD