Stop whatever you’re doing and pay attention. I’ve found a solution to all your problems (whatever they may be)! From now on everything will be possible, and the best thing is that you won’t have to make decisions or even think for yourselves! Yep, the future that we’ve all secretly been dreaming of is finally here and oh my, does it look bright!

I had bought a magazine and was absentmindedly glancing through it when I came upon an advert I must have seen a ridiculous amount of times before, but never really paid any attention to.

TEXT a PSYCHIC! Text STARPSYCHIC (space) and then your question to 88100. (Costs £1.50) And you get a proper, foolproof, real life psychic texting you right back, giving you a straight answer to whatever it is that you are troubled about! This is what mobile phones were invented for, surely. This is what they had in mind.

Brilliant!!!

-“I’m in Starbucks! At first I was thinking – get a latte, but then..being here, well..then now I’m suddenly being drawn to the frappuccinos. If I get one, will I regret it when I step out in the cold? Should I go for the latte, as I was in the beginning? Or what do you reckon? Please hurry, mista psycho, cos behind me big big queue! Not looking happy, not looking happy at all! Yours 4ever/Evelyn Xxxxxxxx”

My text message must have got lost in cyper space somehow because their reply didn’t seem to get back to me.

So I tried another one and thought that well,” daily life issues” are clearly not this persons
field of expertise, so I decided to play it big:

-“Ok, how do I manage to achieve great success in all areas of life? I wanna be rich and famous and find the love of my life. Over..!”

Bingo! Got a reply within minutes!

-“Start meditating. Think of stuff like love and respect. Do a yoga class. Ok?”

I will be completely honest with you. I did feel slightly suspicious there and then, thinking that maybe he wasn’t as professional as he tried to appear in the advert. But then suddenly I saw things in a different, more enlightened perspective…

All i had to do to acheive great success in all areas of life was to meditate...and take a random class of yoga?!!

I recall hearing Sir Alan telling all the contestants in “The Apprentice” that there was no way you could ever achieve great success without putting in an extreme amount of hard work and devotion.

Ha! In your face Mr Alan! Clearly all I, personally, have to do is to lay back, cross my legs and dream! Believe me, this is a revelation that I’m welcoming!



I can’t recommend this service enough. I warmly advice you to try it. Trust me when I say it will make your life easier! It really will. ;)

You can thank me later.

“Yours 4ever/Evelyn Xxxxxxxx”