Jellyfish and insomnia…

Jellyfish. I’ve managed to stay away from those things for months now and thought it was beginning to get safe. But then I suddenly started to fantasize about them again during a moment of insomnia last night.
Alluring stuff!

I used to think they were pretty off-putting. Disgusting even. But then my friend dragged me off to see a 3D film about sharks, which ended up containing way more jellyfish than sharks. It was hard to be disgusted by them after having had hundreds and hundreds of them swimming into my face one after another. I guess that technique would probably be worth trying with other phobias as well. Let’s say you’re having an inexplicable fear of needles and other sharp things. After 15 minutes or so of having gigantic 3 dimensional knives and syringes thrown at you with precision and care, you’ll probably be past caring. Either that or you’ll have passed out.

Most people seem to think of aquariums as relaxing and tend to agree on that fish have a calming effect. But, logically, wouldn’t a tank full of jellyfish be even more relaxing? They swim slower. They don’t try to eat each other. If two male jellyfish suddenly happen to swim in the same part of the tank, there won’t be any fight or argument and if a particularly pretty female jellyfish pops up, there won’t be any rivalry or even jealousy. No, honestly, you can take my word for it. Jellyfish are above that sort of thing.

A couple of months ago I worked hard on trying to convince my boyfriend at the time to let me give him one! I claimed it was the hottest present you could get this summer! I had read it in Heat, I said. I also claimed that if we were ever to accidentally break up, this would secure his future success with females. What girl would be able to resist a guy who’s got a tank of jellyfish at home! (Puppies and kittens are soo last season, dahling!) But I decided to take my jelly elsewhere when he threatened to flush them down the loo. A bit harsh. I mean, after all they’ve got emotions like all the rest of us. No need for jokes like that…

Anyway, the most efficient way to make them relax you is, I’m sure, to pretend that you are one! Works wonders! Works even better than my Noel Edmonds Cosmo cd. (But, please, don’t tell him I said that. Things will just turn dirty and get out of hand, and I just feel that might be a bit unnecessary all things considered…)
To make the relaxation exercise a bit more interesting and add a bit of drama, I can recommend using some colour. Personally, I’d like to think of myself as a green one! It tends to keep predators away and is somewhat spicier in general than, let’s say, orange (which is a bit lame, really). But you know, that’s just my personal experience. You don’t have to take my advice if you don’t want to. Use whatever colour you want. No, really.