27th of July

I’ve had insomnia all week. In fact, I’m sort of having insomnia right now. Proper insomnia that makes you want to bring a pillow where ever you go and sink into just any vaguely comfortable corner you happen to pass for a snooze as soon as you get the chance.
But even then, even if you did, you wouldn’t be able to sleep. You wouldn’t even be able to find any rest.

In the end it sort of makes you want to cry. But only for short sharp moments, because before you’ve even finished the thought, you realize you really don’t have the energy it takes.

And then Rory came over to visit, which meant I had to at least try to seem awake. He was only staying for a couple of days before going back to Dubai, where he’s working at the moment. And that’s just the thing. If someone who lives that far away comes to visit you, you have to be polite and sort of nice. And the first thing you learn when taking the course “How not to be an asshole for Dummies, 101”, is to at least pretend to keep your eyes open when having someone over.

Which is not all that easy when all you really want to do is……………………………………………………………………………go to bed.

But hey, being tired doesn’t mean you’re not happy. It’s perfectly possible to be exhausted beyond belief whilst still thoroughly enjoying life! I might even go as far as calling it easier! You’re past caring and you’re probably even giggling. So what if you drop a mug when you’re trying to make tea – who cares! Let’s laugh about it! So what if you walk into the door and hurt your arm – it’s only a bruise. You’ll live! And as a bonus I find it almost impossible to get annoyed with people even if they’d be incredible irritating. I simply really don’t care. Easy life.

But luckily I don’t tend to need much sleep and I think things went quite well in the end.

On Wednesday I had brought Esther to Danny Wallace book launch party and since I didn’t think Rory would be able to make it we decided to try our best to rub it in and make things just that little bit worse for him. In the end Esther was taking a bunch of photos of me and Danny holding notes saying “We are having fun without you, Rory”, but it proved to be relatively pointless since 1. I managed to loose all the photos (new phone, new camera) and 2. Rory DID manage to get there. I’m still not really sure how he did it to be honest. Possibly by hijacking the train, but was sure that was sort of illegal in Britain. Ah well.

Anyway, here’s another photo of us looking incredibly daft. (I think it’s actually debatable if it’s even physically possible to look more stupid then all of us do here… But that’s what makes me laugh. Or no, it probably isn’t….the reason I’m laughing is possibly cos I’m too tired to even put my socks on right.)